TRANSITIONS ARE NEVER EASY

I dashed off my latest story this morning which is on the institution of marriage, and how it 'perhaps' needs to be re-evaluated in the background of rising work pressure and easy infedility. Wait for it to come out in print to sit judgement on it. I kept it light hearted and funny even suggesting a whole new lexican for a new age marriage(which maybe treated as business deals herefater). But a breakdown in any relationship is not funny, especially if it is a marraige and there are children involved.

Transitions are painful even if they are required and meant to favour personal growth.

It is a difficult situation to handle when it requires changes in established patterns of behaviour. Intimate relationships are the hardest hit when this change is sought by just one partner. Even as a shift in lifestyle or a career choice, unexpected transitions always have several itchy issues that can leave both parties struggling in pain and incapable of moving ahead.

If one partner decides to make a certain shift in his/her emotions regarding the other it is the worst case scenario. Truthful talks can only increase tension and lead to feelings of victimization and blame. It is therefore avoided by most. Due to fear of hurting, one may therefore resort to tactful (and not truthful) communication leading to subterfuges and deception, which are even worse. It is keeping things in limbo which is most dangerous/painful. Manipulation of emotions not only undermines a relationship but also crumbles individual integrity and esteem.

When two people can however be more open to these changes, transitions can lead to great evolvement of individuals and the equation. Acceptance can be healing.

Ofcourse reorientation takes time and changing expectations are never easy. But an end of sorts can lead to a beginning of a new cycle of understanding for two well meaning mature individuals. It is important to be sincere more than anything.

Will new age marriages bring about that openness or atleast an awareness that crossroads are fantastic opportunity posts but potential danger zones as well - And that tansitions are never easy!

THE POLYANDROUS FEMALE

The above link will take you take an interesting article published in MSN by a certain Sachi Mohanty. My own research on "Relationship" issues (for which I am supposed to write a series of articles) made me curious about the title. The article is honest and fortright contributing to the rising mindset of adulterous behaviour (and the confusion this transition is setting in). My reply to the author's query if women are also inclined to be as polyandrous (as men are polygamous) is here below. I shall attempt to write a full fledged article taking off from here. Meanwhile here is my take on the subject. I may not be representing the entire women species but I do know whatever may be the trend today, it is important not to lose sight of the bigger picture.

"Mating as a primal desire to procreate is followed by a sense of fulfilment and subsequent responsibility in many animals and ofcourse the humans. I have no idea if the Megallean Penguins (who mate with the same partner every year) or the Sea Horses who are similarly inclined, have any special reason to do so. In human however it is a matter of choice - After you have tried all the permutations and combinations of the mating game (which ends in there and doesn't enrich the individual or the realtionship in anyway), one feels exhausted, used, listless and even a little sad...human mind more than mating is perhaps hardwired to look beyond these temporal satiation gimmicks into searching for truth ( or anything that lasts forever). The reason why they give so much importance to emotions like love and trust and faith - the reason why the primitive men eventually ceased to be the hunters and the chasers and redefined their life more meaningfully - collecting within them all their sexual energy and chanellising them in directions that make them creative in a wholesome way...

You may also like to click and read my first article on the Relationship series - EASY FLINGS . This is about a rise in conscious adulterous behaviour amongst women today... Let's face the facts!
http://www.thestatesman.net/page.arcview.php?clid=30&id=254804&usrsess=1