THE HONKING LANGUAGE

Gosh! I have so much to write. It has been impossible to pen my diary everyday – Been traveling too much. As a result there is this huge back log of stories that I have to share with you. There are hundreds of things that I am learning every day but first things first- My experience at the Giza Pyramids! But even before that a little about Muhammed.

Muhammad Khalid Mahmud is the charioteer in my sojourn. He seems to be constantly forgetting that I know no Arabic. He breaks into rapid fire Arabic trying to enthrall me with his animated conversation even when he fully knows I find it all Greek/Arabic. “Shoya Shoya” (gradually) he hopes I will start understanding him. The other Muhammed, my translator calls him a ‘Homar’ (a donkey) from ZAGZEG – A place which is famous for – Guess what? Non-stop talkers!

I can believe that. He is surprisingly comfortable with himself, keeping himself amused with his own natter even when no one is paying attention to him. He will roll down his window and start chatting with a driver on the road, a commuter or even a pedestrian when he is bored with himself,looking for some dialogue.

Apart from Arabic he speaks another interesting language. I am not sure if he has invented it or learnt it on the way. It is a Morse coded honking language for the road which several Egyptians drivers are using these days I am told.

As anywhere in India honking is a huge past time for Egyptian drivers. The more the gridlocks, the more frequent is the honking. The more congested a place, the louder it gets. The more impossible the mess, the more desperate it sounds. But that is logical. “Why are cars fitted with horns otherwise?” Mohammed asks. He takes this particular appendage rather seriously and puts it to maximum use therefore.

Driving through a highway where there is hardly any traffic is the most boring part of driving for people like Muhammad.(Fortunately Cairo is crowded and with snarling traffic all the time... so driving is generally fun). Muhammad chooses to keep his profession as vibrant as possible by honking his way through. He usually does it with beats of a peppy number that comes on FM. He also uses it to converse with his fellow commuters.

He maintains it is an innovative way to beat stress and so must be used ingeniously. Mohammed shows exactly how it is done . Baib ba baib ba means “I love u”. He is careful not to use it when there is a woman driver though. He prefers plain and simple men-talk, exchanging choicest expletives instead. "The way men usually greet each other," he explains.

I like Mohammed. Everything about him reminds me of my hometown. With utter disregard to rules, he drives as if the roads have been made just for him. God forbid someone comes is his way when he is in one of his perilous lane cutting mission. He lets them have it. “Can’t he see I came first? Everyone of course understands. Traffic rules are suffocating and so meant to be broken. Infact the more dangerous you can get, the more experienced a driver you are supposed to be.

A person coming from Dubai where traffic rules are severe may find manoeuvring through the reckless traffic of Egypt a disaster. But I learnt driving In Calcutta and so I feel perfectly at home here.

P.S. Mohammed would like to remind “What reckless...the traffic hardly moves in Egypt!” That’s a point. Please note it too.